I’m the sixth child in a family of ten — a spot that, for better or worse, came with a few unofficial roles. They said I “started the second half” of the family, so while technically a middle child, I was a bit of a leader among the younger kids. If you’ve ever met someone who grew up with a large family, you know there’s an unspoken language we all speak, a way of handling life’s twists and turns with a mix of patience, empathy, adaptability, and teamwork. Here’s how those lessons shaped me in ways that help me every day in life and in work.
1. Adaptability Isn’t Optional; It’s Survival
Growing up, life was constantly changing. You never knew if you’d be sharing a room with three siblings, eating what you actually wanted for dinner, or wearing clothes that weren’t really yours (hand-me-downs have a way of just… appearing). In our house, plans changed on the fly, and you had to learn how to roll with it.
In my work as a recruiter, that adaptability is one of the things I rely on most. Clients’ needs can shift, candidates’ priorities can change, and sometimes the “perfect fit” isn’t perfect at all. But instead of stressing, I adapt. That comes from my big-family roots — accepting that things don’t always go as planned and figuring out how to make the best of it anyway.
2. Everyone Has Needs
There’s no room for a “me, me, me” mindset in a household of twelve. Early on, I learned that what I wanted didn’t always come first. Sometimes it didn’t come at all, and that’s okay. Being one of ten gave me an innate sense of empathy, a skill that comes in handy when trying to balance the diverse needs of clients, candidates, and colleagues. It’s helped me see people as individuals with their own challenges and aspirations, which of course aids my ability to support them.
3. It’s Not What You Get, It’s What You Give
When I was little, helping my younger siblings get ready for school or teaching them something new was just part of the daily routine. It wasn’t until later that I realized how much I’d come to enjoy that sense of service. There’s something grounding about knowing you’ve helped someone else out (whether they thanked you or not).
In my work, I’m driven by that same feeling. The best part of working in recruiting isn’t just finding the right candidate for a role but helping people reach new opportunities they might not have seen on their own. Being a small part of an organization’s development or an individual’s career journey is incredibly rewarding, especially given all of the work I do with Nonprofits, Business Improvement Districts, and other vision-driven teams.
4. Be Grateful, and Self-Motivated
My parents taught us early that gratitude wasn’t about the big stuff; it was in the details. If you got the last slice of pie or a quiet place to do homework, you knew to savor it. And in a big family, recognition was rare, so I learned not to expect applause for everything I did. Over time, that’s become a big part of how I stay motivated in my career, particularly as an entrepreneur.
5. Relationships Are Everything
Being one of ten means you’re part of something bigger. As we grew up and went our separate ways, the bond has stayed strong. There’s an unbreakable connection that comes from knowing someone’s seen you at your best and your worst and still has your back. In recruiting, I feel the same way about building relationships. It’s not just about filling a position and moving on; it’s about forming connections that last. Whether it’s with candidates or clients, I find a lot of joy in building those bonds.
Growing up in a big family wasn’t always easy, but it really built my toolbox. It’s no wonder I’ve dedicated my life to such a people-centric line of work — I’ve always believed that people and connection are what make life worth living. And even though my work life looks very different from my family life, I’m grateful for the parallels that keep me grounded and purposeful in everything I do.
